Synthesis

MS synthesis
in seventeen syllables
not always easy.

This complex disease
frustrates many scientists
seeking a root cause.

Haiku does same thing.
It simplifies a concept
to understand it.

Remembering

I sometimes forget
how impaired MS makes me.
I think I'm normal.

Looking at others
buying groceries with ease
reminds me I'm not.

I must remember
what it’s like to feel healthy
so my brain does too.

Self Renewal

I am powerful.
I can summon cell armies
Which can heal MS.

I must recruit them.
They can harness body’s skill
To renew itself.

This is possible.
Why can't I make it happen?
I wish I knew how.

La La Land

So why don’t I laugh?
Isn’t this funny, ha ha?
I done lost my mind.

I’m in la la land
which others use pills to find.
Me? It just happened.

Should I be grateful
for the hand which was dealt me?
Many gifts it gives.

Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving
To those who read my haikus.
Thanks for your friendship.

My Other Life

Entered a contest.
Submitted a short story.
We’ll see what happens.

It’s my other life.
Nothing to do with MS.
Helps my sanity.

Healthy distraction.
Uses different brain cells.
Improves my fitness.

I Am Mostly Brave

If I get weepy,
It’s usually because
I miss who I was.

I know I’m still me,
But my new garment sometimes
Does not fit too well.

I am mostly brave.
I smile through a lot that pains.
Aren’t I just like you?

I Am Still Me

Metamorphosis
Kafka wrote story about
A man turned insect.

People recoiled.
Others ignored him as man
Only saw insect.

Wait, I am still me,
The man-insect cried to all
But they could not hear.

Caught In The Middle

The sorrow, the loss
An unkind trajectory
No answer to why

Through curtains that part
Teasing wisp of hope wafts in
Shows me what could be

Caught in the middle
Pulled between my hope and loss
A poignant silence

A Family's Lament

If we show our grief,
will it help or aggravate
our loved one’s MS?

Will s/he know our pain
if we let ourselves show it?
Or will s/he feel guilt?

A stranger arrived,
blithely upending shared lives.
Made us strangers, too.

Virtual Travel

Agoraphobic,
I fear I can become that.
Walking is too hard.

Virtual travel,
The easier choice now.
Grateful for PC.

Does world think that, too?
Many glued to monitor.
No real life contact.

Those Hormones

Real gender bias.
MS does discriminate
Between boys and girls.

Less men get MS,
But what they get may worsen
In primary way.

Those hormones of ours
May help us while we have them.
Menopause no friend.

Choosing Joy

Powerful joy
Oh, that I could remember
How healing that is.

It is simple, eh?
Choose joy, not fear, always.
Why do I forget?

Remembering this
Is not always so easy
Fear gets in the way.

The Forced Move

Is it time to move?
To leave home of our dreams
Where we lived and loved?

I thought it was I
Who would trigger the forced move
But he's failing too.

This is a haiku
I had hoped not to write now
Except I have to.

Are You Feeling Better?

At a loss for words
When someone asks how I am
When? At one? At six?

They don’t realize
MS, a quick-change artist,
Loves fresh, new costumes.

So I nod and smile
Grateful they care to ask me
If I feel better.

Tracking My Trajectory

Just filled for NARCOMS
The Fall 09 questionnaire
Hope it helps research.

Opportunity
For me to compare my self
Against last report.

Sobering to track
My MS trajectory.
A little scary.

Brain Plasticity

Brain plasticity
Promise was not accepted.
It is standard now.

A new paradigm.
MS sentence commuted.
Grants new potential.

What to do with it?
Possibilities abound.
Let me grab them now.

A Different Stage

Lola Falana,
Annette Funicello, too.
Terri Garr and more.

Their stars shone brightly
On public stage, pre MS,
Endearing themselves.

They still shine brightly.
As spokeswomen for MS
Their stage has now changed.

Calling On My Brain

Wheelchair, walker, cane,
All implements I have used.
I prefer my legs.

Hobbled by MS,
I must find alternative
That helps me live well.

Brain at mid throttle
Calls on creativity
To be my ally.

Trumping The Gremlin

Keeping it real means
I recognize the gremlin
but turn it to good.

I can choose instead
A happy worker image,
The friendly healer.

If I startled you
With my earlier image,
I apologize.

The Gremlin

There is a gremlin
Wrecking havoc with my brain.
Shoo! Go away, please.

Gremlin looks at me.
It says, Really, you want that?
Yes, really, really.

I’ll think about it,
But I’m having too much fun.
Myelin tastes good.

My Body Can Heal

I believe in hope,
In the high idea that
My body can heal.

Brain lesions do mend.

MS autopsies confirm

Regeneration.

Dead people can’t talk
To tell me why that happens.
I'm just glad it does.

What Is My New Life?

The old rules have changed.
MS made mincemeat of them.
What are the new rules?

What goals do I set?
Is ambition possible?
What is my new life?

How do I control
What will happen to me now?
This is all so strange.