Indifference

So life does go on.
The sun rises and it sets
unfazed by my lot.

Nature will survive,
maybe not beneficent
for me or humanity.

The tectonic shifts
redefining my life
are hardly noticed.

I Sometimes Wonder

What is going on?
Has civility vanished
in public discourse?

Good reasons abound.
Economic woes and more
are testing us all.

But do we have to
bash and call each other names?
No room for kindness?

What Do I See?

Is it gentleness
or woundedness I detect
in MSer eyes?

Or is it just shock
while picking up the pieces
of our former selves?

Sadness and dismay
battle the resilience
sought despite stiff odds.

Give Me Warmth and Sunshine

This suits me just fine,
a sunny, warm, and breezy
Florida fall day.

The open windows
let in the scents and the sounds
of nature’s glory.

When I lived up north,
I felt mostly much too cold.
I’m a sunshine girl.

Smiling It Away

Staying positive,
its usefulness is proven
but it is no cure.

If only hardship,
the burden that it places,
could be smiled away.

I would have smiled me
out of my predicament
a long time ago.

She Wants Your Stories

You have a story
about living with MS?
This writer wants them.

The focus must be
stories of optimism,
a positive slant.

The therapist plans
to gather the stories for
a book collection.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving
to you and your family.
May blessings abound.

To My Anonymous Helpers

I looked at my meal,
silently thanking all those
who made it happen.

The list is quite long,
farmer, truck driver, and more,
gas company too.

From start to finish,
anonymous workers toiled
to help me eat well.

Mainstream and Complementary Alternative Medicine

Mainstream and CAM tools
the best of both can be used
to optimize health.

Integration works.
More and more MDs believe
CAM can play a role.

CAM practitioners
must embrace too the value
MDs do provide.

MS Perfect Storm

MS perfect storm:
health, money, relationship
issues yoked as one.

Though looking for good,
one can bend low and weary
under the burden.

Will there come a time
when it turns unbearable?
What does one do then?

Self-Fulfilling Expectations?

Have I eased into
a low-expectation groove,
now self-fulfilling?

No longer challenged
by work demands and judgments,
have my standards dropped?

Physical limits,
be they real and restricting,
should they rule my life?

Yearning to Emerge

Now locked inside me,
the salsa dancer who yearns
to dance up a storm.

Craving freedom too,
the hiker who trekked uphill
beside mountain brooks.

Then there is the me
who meandered in gardens.
She is shackled too.

MS and Unemployment

MS generates
high rates of unemployment
a big life changer.

Multifaceted
impact on several fronts,
all encompassing.

All are affected:
self-worth and relationships,
finances as well.

New Trajectories

Humbled by MS,
I head down unexpected
life trajectories.

On my new journeys,
surprising insights unfold,
past beliefs questioned.

My pride took a blow.
I work on my self esteem
to find new meaning.

Montel Williams Speaks His Truth

I heard Montel speak.
With tearful eyes he explained
how he nearly died.

Wracked by MS pain,
he almost ended his life
despairing and sad.

Though glad to be here,
he still wants the option of
death with dignity.

Learning Bravery - Encore

If MS brings tears,
it’s okay, not cowardly.
I tell myself this.

Learning bravery.
MS grants many moments
to find it within.

I have those moments
but I am not always brave.
I let myself cry.

Nerve Transmission Speed - Encore

Myelin cover
affects nerve transmission speed.
It’s why we suffer.

One hundred eighty,
myelinated nerves reach;
mph, that is.

Half mph for
demyelinated nerves.
Quite a contrast.

My Body Can Heal - Encore

I believe in hope,
in the high idea that
my body can heal.

Brain lesions do mend.
MS autopsies confirm
regeneration.

Dead people can’t talk
to tell me why that happens.
I'm just glad it does.

I Don't Like The Blues - Encore

Sometimes I am sad,
overwhelmed by this disease.
The blues settle in.

I don’t like that place.
It’s not pleasant being there.
I leave when I can.

Yet it’s also fine
to allow myself to feel.
Numbness is not good.

I Still Want To Shine - Encore

I remind myself
that apart from my MS
I am still intact.

I still want to shine
with kindness, mercy, and love
to light up the world.

Bruised but not beaten,
I embrace my good person
who now needs a hug.

Keeping It Real - Encore

Keeping it real means
I recognize my losses
and concede my pain.

Keeping it real means
I acknowledge my limits
while I set new goals.

Keeping it real means
I face what’s ahead of me
clearly, but with hope.

We All Fight Battles – Encore

No one wants to hear
what is wrong with me today.
We all fight battles.

Mine might seem special.
They are only so to me.
Forgive my weakness.

It’s just that sometimes
MS fear seems to trump joy.
My resolve falters.

What I Really Want

Why did this occur?
Is it my fault this happened,
Did I do something?

Of course no one knows.
Frankly that is the problem.
I would like answers.

Better than causes,
I hunger for solutions
that restore my health.

Drew a Blank

Whoa, what has happened?
I don’t like my draft poems.
Be back tomorrow.

When It Only Gets Worse

It cannot get worse.
Then it relentlessly does,
a bad waking dream.

This is not the news
someone wounded wants to hear,
but it is real news.

The challenge becomes
how to still hold on to hope
when it seems far-fetched.

A New Emergent Me

Oh, what a surprise,
this new person emerging
adjusting to change.

A reassessment
of my lifetime goals and skills
continues apace.

Where this will take me
I have yet to discover.
It is quite a ride.

Things Learned After Getting MS …

New doors may open.
MS sucks but I do not.
I can be happy.

Friends are important
companions on this journey
wise and supportive.

This may be the best
day I will ever enjoy.
Best value today.

You Surprise Me

I have stopped guessing
which poems will resonate.
You will surprise me.

Often I will say,
nah, don’t bother posting that.
Then many comment.

The lesson for me:
post each poem without fear.
Let you surprise me.

I Can't Fight What I Don't Acknowledge

Some may be puzzled
since I both fight and feel low.
That is my life’s truth.

Not a campaigner
for a particular stance,
I speak from the heart.

I acknowledge lows
even as I battle them.
It gives them less sway.

What Still Works

The light switch will work.
The sun will rise and then set.
Clean water will flow.

The phones will function.
The internet connects us.
I have enough food.

My home gives shelter.
I have a good family.
What's missing? Good health.

MS – How Do I Hate You?

Let me count the ways.
You appear unbidden and
in all dimensions.

When I am quiet
or in fury of living,
I will find you there.

Faithful escort on
this misbegotten journey,
you are not my friend.