Shalom

A ceramic plate
bought in Israel because
I liked its message.

Shalom expressed in
Hebrew, Arabic, English.
Peace, hello, goodbye.

Coming and going.
The distinction matters less
if we still connect.

The Value of Denial

Honesty can hurt.
It is hard facing harsh truths.
Denial then works.

An unwanted blow,
weathering it can take time
Need time to prepare.

A word of caution.
Permanent avoidance,
a flawed strategy.

The Sun's Joyful Gifts

There is no contest.
Papaya and mango fruits
are my favorites.

The sweet juice dribbles
down the sides of my mouth.
I can’t get enough.

This tropics-born girl
slurps these sun-nurtured jewels,
reaching for the sun.

To Be Honest ...

I know folks mean well
telling me it is best to
look on the bright side

Sometimes wisdom says,
admit that things are awful.
You got unlucky.

I can be grateful
for gifts this challenge gave me
and still hate MS.

Life Between Catnaps

It happens often.
I just run out of gas.
I have to lie down.

Daily life consists
of the interludes between
required catnaps.

It is amazing
how much I do accomplish
between my rest breaks.

Me and My Bike

I cruise on my bike
right in front of my TV
and I travel far.

There are no limits.
I can go just anywhere.
My bike takes me there.

It’s a nice pretense,

what I watch and what I do.

They both seem quite real.

What Feels Better

My greatest lesson
learned from my gentle parents:
be kind to others.

The world often wants
toughness and cynicism
not soft thoughtfulness

I tried being tough.
It seemed like the thing to do.
Kindness feels better.

Redefinition

I still get tripped up
by measuring me against
the old paradigm.

It is clear to me
I am not done grieving yet
for what I once had.

Redefinition

of what life’s all about.

MS prompted that.

Making Sense

I try to make sense

why others remained healthy

and I got MS.

I get a headache

trying to find a reason
for what seems unfair.

Best call up that smile.
There is no answer to why
bad things happen.

My Companion

A love song to me.
I sing it to let me know
I am not alone.

Nurturing myself.
It rescues me from despair,
opens me to hope.

Though others may leave,
I remain my companion
whom I must cherish.

A Dawn Greeting

When I used to sail,
I loved the con at daybreak,
the others asleep.

The sun cast a blush
on the distant horizon.
Then it slowly rose.

My boat, sails, and I,
in silence and reverence,
greeted a new day.

Crafting A New Life

I catch myself as
I pine for things I would do
in my former life.

Nostalgia is fine,
but is moving on better ?
to craft a new life?

Discovering ways

to grant the new life meaning

seems a lot wiser.

Forced Choice

Meant to go out
to the movie theater.
I stopped at my door.

The effort involved
in getting dressed and ready
had overwhelmed me.

It seems I must choose
between cleanliness and fun.
That is a real shame.

Tripped Up By Language

I found myself
speaking in a runner’s terms
to describe my life.

It is not a sprint.
It is more a marathon.
That is what I said.

When I realized
I no longer run at all,
I inhaled sharply.

A Child's Secret

I am very glad
my parents never saw me
in this weakened state.

My legs functioned well
at the time my parents lived.
MS not mentioned.

I kept my secret.
It would have broken their hearts
to fear my future.

Anonymous Gifts

I collect baskets,
handiwork patiently worked
by nimble fingers.

They come from China,
Africa, America.
Other places, too.

I silently tell
those anonymous artists,
Thank you for your gift.

Who Am I Today?

I keep bargaining

for my self definition.

Who am I today?

Varied emotions
battle among themselves while
I confront MS.

Should I be cheery?
Afraid? Accommodating?
Hard to know what’s best.

Keeping Up

Me in slow motion.
Everything else goes fast.
I cannot keep up.

Mouth drops open
as I watch the fast movements
I once had mastered.

When did I step off
the merry-go-round?
I did not want to.

Measuring Gains and Losses

I would feel cheated,
a friend once said of MS.
So much robbed from me.

I cannot dispute
my body’s reality.
It includes deep loss.

My scale measures more.
It tallies increased wisdom.
Does that balance things?

If We Had Known

We did not grow up
expecting that a wheelchair
would be our legs.

At birthday parties
ice cream and frothy soda
defined what we liked.

Would we have laughed less
if armed with a crystal ball,
we knew the future?

Things to Say

I don’t talk a lot.
yet I have posted poems
daily for five months.

I keep thinking that
I will run out of things
to say to the world.

I'll keep on writing
so that my blog won’t go blank.
I don't promise though.

Memory and Reality

I often forget ...
I don’t know how but I do ...
what my limits are.

Activities like
an easy walk in the park,
I think I can do.

Calm reality
reminds me quickly that
walking is tricky.

When All Seems Dark

I do not accept
that loss is a certainty.
I will keep fighting.

I will keep pushing
and energizing myself,
victory in sight.

Churchill would agree.
When darkness surrounded,
he did not give up.

Mother's Day Wishes

On this Mother’s Day,
may love’s presence bring joy.
May laughter bring cheer.

Invitation to Dance

At a tango bar
in Buenos Aires,
a bandoneón.

I heard the music
and imagined me dancing
up there on the stage.

A caballero
pulled me up to dance with him.
We stepped, dipped, and spun.

Sometimes ...

I feel like I’m on
a boat without a paddle
in a raging sea.

Struggling for control
of my bucking boat I fight
falling overboard.

Falling stops the ride
only to start a new one
in angry waters.

Gratitude

I am grateful for
the courageous friends found
on this MS path.

I am grateful for
the hands extended to me
through your blog sharing.

I am grateful for
the reminder that I am
with people who care.

Listing My Ailments

Doctor visits force
a recital of symptoms
which makes me feel worse.

Listing my ailments
invariably worsens
how I think I feel.

The rest of the time
I can pretend I’m better
than I really am.

Blog As Confessor

Blog as confessor.

Is that really suitable

for this medium?

There should be a place
where one can be transparent
in admitting loss.

I have confessed here.
I may well do it again,
while seeking balance.

Facing Challenge

Did you ever think
you were up to a challenge
of this magnitude?

We are amazing.
Stripped of the usual tools,
we somehow prevail.

Is it inner strength
or reflexive reaction?
It does not matter.

A New Lens

A new perspective
is offered to me each day
by chronic illness.

Upsetting the known
familiar paradigms
yields startling insights.

Changed camera lens
provides a useful filter
for measuring worth.

Brave Enough?

So many brave ones
face undreamed of tragedy
and rarely complain.

Those of stoic mien
do not surrender to strife.
Do I measure up?

Often I am strong.
Really I surprise myself.
But sometimes I cry.