“A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth.”
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

I Ponder…


Is this really me
hobbling about and lurching,
rushing to bathrooms?

What happened to skills
at managing complex tasks,
a once fine mind asks.

How do I value
the me who remains despite
being diminished?


Judy at Peace Be With You said...

Dear friends,
Life has settled down to a more manageable level and, for the first time in months, I found myself writing a poem. Does this mean I will resume my weekly schedule? Probably not. MS has not been friendly to me recently so, with respect to my poetry, the only obligation I place on myself is to be kind to myself. I'll publish more poems when I'm able. In the meantime, I will continue to read your blogs where I have been impressed by the breadth of how people cope; sometimes, with joy; sometimes with barely acknowledged yet still powerful fear; on occasion with both. Where possible, may you find cheer along the way.

Muffie said...

So glad to see you're back, albeit only sporadically. I, too, gasp in horror at all I've lost along the MS journey. I refuse, however, to let it conquer me. I may not have the same skill set that once existed, but I rejoice when I accomplish other tasks. I really don't think I ever envisioned myself as this disabled creature when I was first diagnosed. Now, I'm content to say, "Well, at least I'm not as bad as..." Small solace, but helpful.

Anonymous said...

Good to see your words. Our bodies are the vessel which with we are familiar. Our spirits are elusive and often inscrutable. I value the you who remains, but I lament and understand the losses.

Gail said...

Hi Judy - I was quite happy to see you and read your pem. Always so true. I so understand your words - I too struggle with adjusting to my diminished self - and like Muffie I am glad for what I can do. Still, I am horrified by what I cannot. I pray, beg, for dignity as I move along this debilitating journey managing this disease.....
Love Gail

Anonymous said...

I feel so helpless just reading and watching. But also thankful for all that you express!! Take care.
Best wishes

Karen said...

Good to see you post Judy! I often ask the same questions. MS has been all encompassing the last several months.

Judy at Peace Be With You said...

Muff, it's great to return, albeit sporadically.

Hilda, your last sentence [I value the you who remains, but I lament and understand the losses.] says it all.

Gail, I too hope for dignity on this journey.

Anonymous, thank you for your kind words.

Karen, I am really moved that you stopped by. I know how difficult the comments moderation is because of your vision.

Laura said...

Hi Judy, it has been quite some time since I last dropped by. Just wanted to check in. I'm sorry you are struggling more and more with MS and happy to know you are doing what you can to best care for yourself. I have been blogging less, visiting people less, living more offline. Sending you healing energy and blessings.

Judy at Peace Be With You said...

Laura, how wonderful that you stopped by and left a comment. I hope MS is treating you kindly. As for me, the major stressors have subsided a bit so the MS is more quiescent, always a relief. But like you I am spending less time online. I wish you many blessings as well.