Instead of life's joy,
I could speak of loneliness.
It weighs heavily.
There will come a time
to acknowledge the burden
of isolation.
Today I still smile.
Elusive though it may be,
joy as a goal helps.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
“A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth.”
Percy Bysshe Shelley
The poems of Peace on the Journey explore the theme of renewal in the face of adversity.
The book is available at Amazon (paperback and Kindle).
There is only so much one can say in 51 syllables so I was not able to add the following. My late father’s church did an oral history of his life. As I read the results of the interviews, I was struck by how often people remembered that his favorite expression was “The peace of God be with you.” I had forgotten that and have been wondering why on earth I named my blog as I did. I even thought of changing it more than once. Now I realize I was subsconsciously remembering my father’s expression. So the blog name remains.
Dan and Jennifer Digmann, a married couple, both with MS, have written this book of essays about living with Multiple Sclerosis and overcoming its challenges. They have honored my poems by using six to reflect the theme of each chapter. A valuable contribution to MS literature, this book is above all else a love story. Click on the image for more information or to purchase.
**** On Life's Journey
Percy Bysshe Shelley
About Me
Hi, I’m Judy. Welcome to my blog where I present verses influenced by the haiku form, which permits me to distill my thoughts into very few words. These often nontraditional haikus acknowledge life challenges with honesty while also embracing hope and joy. My challenges include caregiving for a spouse and adjusting to my own MS. Sometimes, these experiences on my journey can be gifts of wisdom about life in general.
Now Available
The poems of Peace on the Journey explore the theme of renewal in the face of adversity.
The book is available at Amazon (paperback and Kindle).
Origins of My Book Peace on the Journey
My Other Blog
Followers
Thank You to My Readers
Many of you check in frequently. Some have called my poems inspiring, which has taught me a new meaning for the word. I had always thought being inspiring meant making someone feel enthusiastic and confident. Instead, in referring to my poems, you cite my honesty and feel inspired by it. I seem to express truths you welcome hearing and which help you. I am simply honored that my words could do such a thing. You have transformed what originally was a self-directed activity into one which benefits others. How often does one have the opportunity to do that? Truly I am blessed by your presence in my life. This motivates me to keep writing these poems and to keep expressing with honesty my feelings and thoughts. My heartfelt thanks to you for sharing my journey.
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
Poems, essays, and personal photos are COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL. All Rights Reserved ©Judith Mercado.
PERMISSION MUST BE GRANTED BY ME FOR THEIR USE.
PERMISSION MUST BE GRANTED BY ME FOR THEIR USE.
The header waterfall image is used with permission from
Artist: Michael Dashow
http://www.michaeldashow.com/
Artist: Michael Dashow
http://www.michaeldashow.com/
Thumbnail images are sourced from Wikimedia, Microsoft Clip Art or personal photos. Clicking on an image will bring up its attribution. Or please check the Comments following the poem.
The Haiku Form
I sometimes wonder
if calling my work haiku
offends the masters.
I never intend
to lay claim my poems are
great classical gems.
I am a poet
who uses haiku meter.
That is all it is.
if calling my work haiku
offends the masters.
I never intend
to lay claim my poems are
great classical gems.
I am a poet
who uses haiku meter.
That is all it is.
How This Blog Got Its Peace Name
The mystery solved
I now know the reason why
this blog got its name.
My dad liked to say,
“The peace of God be with you.”
I had forgotten.
The phrase came to me.
I used it unconsciously.
Then friends let me know.
I now know the reason why
this blog got its name.
My dad liked to say,
“The peace of God be with you.”
I had forgotten.
The phrase came to me.
I used it unconsciously.
Then friends let me know.
There is only so much one can say in 51 syllables so I was not able to add the following. My late father’s church did an oral history of his life. As I read the results of the interviews, I was struck by how often people remembered that his favorite expression was “The peace of God be with you.” I had forgotten that and have been wondering why on earth I named my blog as I did. I even thought of changing it more than once. Now I realize I was subsconsciously remembering my father’s expression. So the blog name remains.
How I Get Through This
There are times when I look up and say, how did this happen to me? Asking why usually doesn’t get me anywhere, except depression. My present reality really does not allow me to indulge in such questions. I have to cope instead with adjusting to my currently diminished physical capacity and to the appalling possibility, nay, probability that this can get much, much worse. How do I then maintain my spirit? Who is the Me who remains when so much of what defined me has been stripped away? Can I transmute this reality into something with meaning and value? Sometimes I find little victories that sustain me. Sometimes I find someone like Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl to help me navigate these questions. At other times I feel that I am in a boat without a paddle in a raging sea. Mostly I am a work in progress living an unexpected life where most of the rules I thought applied don’t, and I am left to rely on whatever inner strength, character, and personal faith I can call on to get me through. But sometimes even inner strength, character, and personal faith do not seem like they are enough. This is just tough. Or theater of the absurd.
The Role of Hope
Research shows that, “in all cultures, the conviction that one’s predicament is hopeless may cause or hasten disintegration and death.” [Jerome and Julia Frank, Persuasion and Healing] The tools available to me to fight this disease are limited. Could it be that keeping hope alive is the strongest weapon in my arsenal?
Success Redefined
I have had to adjust my model for defining success, and it often now includes those tiny steps forward that occur after giant leaps backward. It even includes accepting that no steps forward, tiny or otherwise, may occur. The rules of the game got tossed, and I have had to find a path to serenity and integration which could even include that I might never reach such a goal.
May You ...
Have light shine away
the darkness of your valley
so you can reach home.
Meet along the way
strangers who treat you kindly
and with a full smile.
Feel deep in your heart
the warmth of those beside you
who also love you.
the darkness of your valley
so you can reach home.
Meet along the way
strangers who treat you kindly
and with a full smile.
Feel deep in your heart
the warmth of those beside you
who also love you.
Nelson Mandela's Words
“… during all my years in prison hope never left me … I did not doubt that I would someday be a free man.”
“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers fear.”
“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers fear.”
From Marc at Wheelchair Kamikaze
From Nicole at My New Normals
My Manifesto
The following poem generated the most comments and blog links of any of the poems I have written. My response to all the comments is provided below. I now call it My Manifesto.
Judging by the number of comments, this poem obviously resonated, and I can understand why. I also want to share what triggered my writing it. I had watched a recently diagnosed person stand up in front of an audience and say, “I am glad I got MS. I am a much better person as a result.”
He is not the only MSer I have heard say that. What I have discovered is that those who say such a thing tend to fall into two camps. They are either recently diagnosed and/or they are not suffering from loss of mobility or some other dastardly manifestation of this scourge of a disease.
My position on this? As I said in one of my poems,
I have no doubt that I am a more compassionate, generous, less shallow person now than I was before coming down with MS. Would I still have reached this more enlightened place as a result of normal maturation? I don’t know and can’t ever know. I only have the life I have. But I will NEVER say that I am glad I have MS. On the contrary, as I said in one of my other poems,
Whatever accommodation I achieve with this disease will always be one in which I am, only out of necessity, cohabiting with an enemy. If calling it an enemy is too strong, then I can at least say that MS will never be my friend. I am sure psychologists would have a field day with my position. With my own therapist, we’ve declared a truce in which I say I acknowledge, instead of accept, that I have MS. I will never accept, though, that this is what my life should be like. As I said in another of my poems,
And I am glad I still have some fight left in me so I can feel this way. There are enough days when I feel quite defeated by this disease. Then another day comes when a glimmer of light helps me remember the Judy I want to be and not just the MS-Judy, and I go on to fight again. That’s when I can say,
And, knowing that days will come when I will again feel oppressed by the enormous challenge I face, I keep these poems on display so that I can remember who I want to be at my best.
As for finding the peace that is the title of this blog, I can only say that, variable though it might be, I find peace in knowing that I can control my attitude about my life.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you. You make this journey so much easier because of it.
To read all the comments, go to: http://lapazconvos.blogspot.com/2011/01/pet-peeve.html
Here is a pet peeve.
When people say they are glad
that they got MS.
They are pleased because
it made them better persons.
My blood just curdles.
Are you kidding me?
Was there no better method
to accomplish growth?
When people say they are glad
that they got MS.
They are pleased because
it made them better persons.
My blood just curdles.
Are you kidding me?
Was there no better method
to accomplish growth?
Judging by the number of comments, this poem obviously resonated, and I can understand why. I also want to share what triggered my writing it. I had watched a recently diagnosed person stand up in front of an audience and say, “I am glad I got MS. I am a much better person as a result.”
He is not the only MSer I have heard say that. What I have discovered is that those who say such a thing tend to fall into two camps. They are either recently diagnosed and/or they are not suffering from loss of mobility or some other dastardly manifestation of this scourge of a disease.
My position on this? As I said in one of my poems,
I can be grateful
for gifts this challenge gave me
and still hate MS.
for gifts this challenge gave me
and still hate MS.
I have no doubt that I am a more compassionate, generous, less shallow person now than I was before coming down with MS. Would I still have reached this more enlightened place as a result of normal maturation? I don’t know and can’t ever know. I only have the life I have. But I will NEVER say that I am glad I have MS. On the contrary, as I said in one of my other poems,
Full recovery.
That will be my intention
until my last breath.
That will be my intention
until my last breath.
Whatever accommodation I achieve with this disease will always be one in which I am, only out of necessity, cohabiting with an enemy. If calling it an enemy is too strong, then I can at least say that MS will never be my friend. I am sure psychologists would have a field day with my position. With my own therapist, we’ve declared a truce in which I say I acknowledge, instead of accept, that I have MS. I will never accept, though, that this is what my life should be like. As I said in another of my poems,
I will not allow
MS to appear normal.
Absolutely not.
MS to appear normal.
Absolutely not.
And I am glad I still have some fight left in me so I can feel this way. There are enough days when I feel quite defeated by this disease. Then another day comes when a glimmer of light helps me remember the Judy I want to be and not just the MS-Judy, and I go on to fight again. That’s when I can say,
I don’t want to hear
the odds are impossible.
I aim to beat them.
the odds are impossible.
I aim to beat them.
And, knowing that days will come when I will again feel oppressed by the enormous challenge I face, I keep these poems on display so that I can remember who I want to be at my best.
As for finding the peace that is the title of this blog, I can only say that, variable though it might be, I find peace in knowing that I can control my attitude about my life.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you. You make this journey so much easier because of it.
To read all the comments, go to: http://lapazconvos.blogspot.com/2011/01/pet-peeve.html
My Blog List
-
-
-
I Miss My Little Guy1 year ago
-
New Year’s Eve Through MS Eyes5 years ago
-
A Few Good Men6 years ago
-
Finally, a post!7 years ago
-
A mil mundos del mundo.7 years ago
-
Buying a Home While Hiding Your MS8 years ago
-
Best MS Blogs8 years ago
-
Sad News8 years ago
-
Who'd a Thunk?8 years ago
-
Update about updates11 years ago
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
Poems, essays, and personal photos are Copyrighted Material. All Rights Reserved ©Judith Mercado
Poem Archive
Most of the 2009-2012 poems have been taken down. If you
would like to contact me about those poems, you may email me HERE.
would like to contact me about those poems, you may email me HERE.
Labels
acceptance
adversity
anger
attitude
balance
blogging
brain
bravery
brokenness
caregiver
Carnival of MS Bloggers
change
choice
communication
community
compassion
courage
cure
dance
depression
Despite MS
determination
dreams
emotion
encore
escape
family
Fear
finances
freedom
friends
future
goals
grace
gratitude
grief
haiku
healing
holiday
hope
humility
inspiration
isolation
joy
Life's Journey
light
loneliness
Looking for Good Things
Loss
love
MS Journey
music
nature
Nelson Mandela
neuroplasticity
overcoming
past
peace
Peace on the Journey: Poems
praise
quality of life
reality
recovery
regular life
renewal
research
resilience
resolve
sadness
Senator Ted Kennedy
smiling
stress
support
the present
therapy
uncertainty
variability
walking
why me
work
Search This Blog
Dan and Jennifer Digmann, a married couple, both with MS, have written this book of essays about living with Multiple Sclerosis and overcoming its challenges. They have honored my poems by using six to reflect the theme of each chapter. A valuable contribution to MS literature, this book is above all else a love story. Click on the image for more information or to purchase.
I look for the glimmer I can catch in the instant of its existence.
10 comments:
I admire your tenacity Judy. I too hold joy as goal, and try to smile no matter what life throws at me. It's become a lot harder lately not to acknowledge the isolation. I am almost at the end of my rope, so my only choice is to tie a knot in it, and hang on for dear life.
Una sonrisa entierra muchos dolores.
Bonito escrito, Judy
Your smile is beautiful, but I know it belies much pain inside. Sometimes it's all we have to get us through. When I was a Brownie, we always sang the song about the big smile, and when my frowns start showing up, I try to find that pocket again.
There is pain. There is also joy. At the same time.
Depends on which one you're paying more attention to, I suppose...
We must speak the truth. When it hurts, it hurts. When something is beautiful, it's beautiful. Or you can follow the road of Kino's Journey... the world is not beautiful. And therefore: it is beautiful.
Hi Judy - it is blessing that you, that any of us can find joy and smile to show it. :-) Given my recent dental experience my smile is "new" and one I am proud of. I was very brave. And now I AM healthier free of all my bad teeth and I mean ALL, and free of any gum disease and each day I ma healing and adjusting.
So yes, Smile :-)
Love Gail
peace.....
Ah, isolation. It wouldn't be so hard to do if there was someone to do it with?
First, I want to let all of you know the reason why I have not been commenting on your blogs. I had a fall the day after this poem was posted, and I suffered a concussion. My computer time is very limited. My response to your comments, for example, has to be written over an extended period. Otherwise, I get dizzy. As for the consequences of the fall, a CT scan confirmed there was no fracture or bleeding so I'm okay there. Concussions, however, take time to heal completely. It is a brain injury that takes 4-6 weeks for full recovery. Thanks for your understanding.
Karen, tenacity, though it flags momentarily, is the only thing that gets me through. I am battling several personal brush fires at once, a situation made worse by a fragile support system. If it weren't for my pulling out a smile from inside and doing my attitude work, I might crumble. Yeah, I tie on knot on it and hang on for dear life. And I manage to find smiles somehow.
Josè Antonio, así es. En realidad, una sonrisa es lo que me ayuda sobrevivir e inclusive prosperar durante esta situación difícil en la cual me encuentro.
Muff, the smile sometimes is in a pocket somewhere, but so far it has been accessible.
Robert, I find you to be one of the most inspiring people I know. So much wisdom in what you say.
Gail, I'm glad your interior smile can now match your exterior smile.
awb, well, I think that's what we on the blogosphere are doing for each other, helping temper the isolation and loneliness. Glad to be in your company, my friend.
Judy, My thoughts are with you.
This journey through life is one that we take alone, regardless of who is by our side. Sometimes, I just smile at myself in the mirror just to prove I can still do it. Healing to you.
Hilda
Hilda, so sorry for being so late in responding. Yes, the journey is a solitary one, regardless of who is with us. I, too, smile at myself in the mirror for exactly the same reason.
Hilda, so sorry for being so late in responding. Yes, the journey is a solitary one, regardless of who is with us. I, too, smile at myself in the mirror for exactly the same reason.
Post a Comment